09/05 - Whittled Wednesday!

I've been puked on by a girlfriend before. She was wasted and passed out in my car. I carried her up to bed and then when I was laying next to her I felt something really warm all over the back of my neck. It was pretty gross.

She also peed on me once while passed out drunk. That wasn't quite as bad because I was asleep and didn't notice till I already slept.

 

Wait wat

You stayed awake and cleaned?

That story is shocking

 

I bet @ChrisTurk is the type of fancy fuck who lived in Stadium Suites during school.

Unlike me. I was an RA and lived on the top floor of Manning (freshman girls dorm built in the 60s) for 2 years lol.

Also, sorry you went full Linda Blair. I once vomited on Matt's bed, TOTALLY BY ACCIDENT. I tried to dangle off the end when I realized I was not gonna make it to the bathroom and it somehow just projectile bounced back. He wasn't amused. He accused me of doing it on purpose (lol what?) , until 6 months later when he also tried to vomit on the floor (the way his place was set up, we both tried to avoid vomiting on the bed by jumping off and yacking on the tiles) only for it to bounce back up on the bed.

We bought a new bed...cause I then threw up on it again.

Sufficed to say, we have a designated vomit pail entirely for me now, and we will never go back up to a setup where I can't adequately escape in time cause the vomit train comes to town at least thrice a week. choo choo

 

This beer I just opened wasn't as cold as I thought.

 

omg mock jury just saved my whole day

 

I'm about to return mine.

 

why?

 

How long did it take you to do?

 

Because I don't feel like doing it? They're only like $10/hr usually anyway.

 

i haven't done it yet but they are some of my favorite hits

 

Cover the mattress in plastic before putting the sheets on cuz you nasty.

 

She sounds like a keeper dude.

 

I guess I read fast? they historically never take that long for me.

 

HEY.

I have never hurled on our bed in a normal circumstance. He used to live in a camper at the airport and it was a weird setup. it was super duper hard to get out of the bedroom and like a small can lol.

 

Nah, she was mean and stole my dog before moving to Ohio or some shit.

 

This is the ultimate dick move, I'm so sorry dude.

 

Thrice a week? well that stinks

Oh and no joke this time

 

Camper at the airport sounds like it's one step up from a van down by the river.

 

Empirical Jury [A2QGI2L47S8HB0] Work on Real Case as a Mock Juror (MH - For)(~ 39 minutes) - $4.75 | PANDA

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See. My sarcasm was warranted.

She sucks.