12/09 - Mulled Monday

what happened

 

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It's just this long drawn out stuff of he's basically a con man. He's 17, I'd rather not have to impose rules but he makes me do it. Like his brother never had a bed time because he always got up for school..simple rule at this age if you get up and you're on time I don't care when you go to bed...

Well he is late basically everyday, he blew up his car so now he has to catch the bus and he misses it at least twice a week so he's proven he doesn't deserve that privilege. So all of my devices and such the internet has a bed time, at 1 point he was stealing one of my laptops and using my neighbors wifi so I changed my password etc. And I told him you are not supposed to be doing that, the shit has a bed time for a reason...

This last week he has been paying 5 dollars a pop to use his school computer at night, so now his account is overdrawn and he has no money. All while 2 days ago I told him you know if you would just do what you were supposed to without doing exactly the opposite of what you said you would do the minute I turn around we wouldn't have these issues.

He makes the same mistakes...over and over and over. I even told him I said with me it's to the point where either you're doing it on purpose or you're fucking stupid.

 

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I wish I could help with some advice. that sounds really frustrating. also sounds like he might be going downhill to me. I wonder if he might be on drugs but you don't know it? or something else.

any parents of teenagers/young adults know what to do if that was your kid?

 

Morning everyone!

 

maury knows the answers - which is either bootcamp or paternity test.

 

I asked or he wouldn't have said anything. anyways there are umpteen parents here I bet someone has dealt with this kind of thing.

 

I've talked to parental friends of mine and they have no answers either. He is one of those people that thinks they are the smartest person in the room, always thinks he won't get caught etc etc. Or now has turned into "I don't care if I get caught" then told me it's better to ask for forgiveness than ask permission.

The reason I call him a con man is he says all the right things and will even go out of his way to be helpful with you. Like help you clean out the garage help his mom do some baking then he'll turn around and do what I was talking about 5 minutes later.

He's not on drugs his drug of choice is meowwy and womanizing which really pisses his mom off.

 

And that is another problem, he's charming and we've tried to go the therapist route with him and he refuses and if you make him go....he will do anything he can to flip the situation. When he was 13 we took him and he literally worked this therapist into telling us "you should just let him do what he wants, chores can be degrading"

 

No easy answers here, I went through similar shit with my oldest. Practical dragged him kicking and screaming to the last day of high School. My instinct was to just say fine I'm not stressing over it you deal with the consensuses of your choices but I'm the one that gets fined if he doesn't go to school and I felt I had to as a parent make sure he at least graduated high school so that years down the road when he decided to stop being so irresponsible and get his shit together he would at least have a high school diploma. So we drug him to school regularly and a few times even called the police to physically remove him from my car and escort him into the building (he refused to leave the car).

Good news is it took until his mid 20's but he got it together and because he had his diploma he was able to get into a training program and he is starting his dream job today and is actually looking forward to something for the first time in his life

 

That therapist sounds like a moron. Maybe it's time to try again with someone else

 

It's not that he hates school, it's that he just won't get up. He wants to stay up half the night video chatting with girls. Apparently he's addicted enough to it that he's willing to pay Comcast 5 bucks a pop to use it for 12 hours at a time.

 

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