01/01 - Marvelous Monday!

Cleaning drunk stranger's pee is my specialty... And also sober. But those are usually friends. Yeah

 

I heard him go into the bathroom, and silly me assumed he actually used the toilet instead of peeing on the floor and going back to bed.

I know, I know! I’m unreasonable.

Insert every eye roll gif here

 

Im not the best speller in the world, so i often yell out to my wife if i need help spelling. She just caught me asking Cortana how to spell something and she didnt look happy.

 

SOMEONE has to develop new and exciting places to pee.

 

Psssssst.* You gotta throw something in the toilet and tell him its target practice. #maleincentives

 

Hot Take: Sit down and save your prostate.

 

Sounds like Cortana is finally making her move on you.

There can only be one!

 

You seriously aren't making him clean his own pee up?

Unless he is 2 years old or a cocker spaniel, it's pretty ridiculous.

 

Second hot take: please clean up your own pee please!

I’m waiting for the chain of peeing to start now. If one of them pees, they all start to in some strange competition.

5 bucks says Bearnie will get annoyed and pee on the same spot just so he thinks matt knows who is boss.

If it wasn’t right in the way of my feet, I would have.

Also, Bearnie is a competitive pee-er. He’s been really good about not peeing on things anymore, except if he smells anyone else’s. Then he goes bonkers and decides to make everything smell like him. And then the other cats will decide to also pee. And then the dogs. The last time someone dribbled on my bath mat , Bearnie went totally bonkers. It was not my idea of fun.

 

Trade ? Anyone?

 

Ben Peterson: New Year, who dis?

 

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TO NEW BEGINNINGS

 

Hippo don't care, Hippo got places to be.