01/01 - Marvelous Monday!

Leaf's dirty secret is that he gets all of his hits from http://hitnotifier.com

 

Be nice, he makes a ridiculous amount of money on here even when its slow. And he never trolls.

 

lol

 

Yeah, no. It was near fatal. I was very technically dead for short spurts because my heart is a lazy Grinch that decided to stop beating. If it were truly fatal, I wouldn’t be able to tell these sweet AF near death stories. That’s why they will call it a life threatening or near fatal injury if you survive regardless of if you were technically dead for a short bit while they shot you full of drugs and zapped you.

Temporary cardiac death does not fatal make or whatever. No doctor is gonna put “fatal” cardiac arrest on my chart, it just says cardiac arrestx3. ( 3 tries to really get it right I say).

I mean, unless I’m dead right now and I’m posting here beyond the grave. In that case, so many things now make sense to me.

Why anyone feels the need to overthink an attention check that is so purposely obvious is beyond me though. Honestly, no idea why I reflexively went into editor mode.

GUYS!GUYS!

AM I DEAD? That’s my real ponderance here.

 

But I like it when she’s snarky. She’s like a cat, but in a cool lady body. I fully dig it.

 

Did you see a white light? If you've posted this already and I missed it link it for me.

 

ouija board rattles. Birdee it is too early!

 

Every denotation I can find for "fatal" cites "causing death", but never makes any reference to whether or not that death sticks.

In this semantics debate, I'm sticking to my guns. If something killed me, I'm calling it fatal.

 

No. It just felt like drowning. Everything got real fuzzy and I couldn’t breathe. Then everything went away, then everything came back in view and I managed to somehow blurt out. “ I DONT FEEL GOOD!” And the doctors and nurses all flipped their shits cause I still didn’t have a pulse that they could pick up. I had a lot of low bp incidents where the monitor would be convinced I had no pulse, so I would periodically wave to indicate that I was in fact not quite dead yet.

As soon as I got off the ventilator a week later, I made every inappropriate joke about how I was basically just like Jesus now because I died and rose again Grinches. (It was the week of Easter lol) I capped it off with a solid Monty a Python reference and I also took the opportunity of not being able to talk to flip everyone off. Everyone. I gave my dad the middle finger so many times and nobody said shit cause I was a little busy at the time.

Pros: you can give everyone the bird
Cons: the tube is not comfortable

 

Sigh. I could drop some editor knowledge but I’m seriously just too worn out from the drunken shit show that was my boyfriend and I just cannot right now.

Please pretend I made many cogent points, we argued semantics some more, and then just decided it wasn’t worth the argument anymore.

 

I always thought I would finally stop having acne as a zombie, but alas, gotta use that speciality zombie retinol cream. That stuff is pricey!

 

I have been getting the "This HIT is no longer available" banner and redirected back to my queue after every hit this morning. Anyone else having this issue?

 

That is awesome. I really needed to hear a good resurrection story to kick off 2018. I am so glad your with us now. You should have had one of the docs tape the incident. That way in any argument you have for the rest of your life you could have just been like ...

"I'm Jesus, ash hole. Here's the proof. Stop arguing with me your wrong."

 

My cold has been upgraded to a sinus infection and bronchitis. Go big or go home!

 

Holiday family death plague anecdotes:

I survived the X-mas cold and gave it to my brother. Brother's gf got the flu and gave it to my dad. The girl is almost clear, my dad is half way there. Stepmom got a sugar migraine, but that's on her. I think we will make it.