12/06 - Trashing Thursday!

Oh, don't worry, more presents are headed his way...he has another kiddo. No spiders this time.

 

call me SpiderPeach

 

My mom was always just super awkward about that sort of thing and I already had two older sisters so I just kinda had to figure things out for myself because she wasn't the type to just sit down and talk about things. She once gave each of us a beer and a condom when I was like 14, though.

 

@THFYM
I need a web shooting joke here, thx.

 

Oh yeah! I was pretty amped about the tacos. I mean, I had an older sister and whatnot and I sorta knew what was coming and my dad was more used to it by the time it hit me (poor guy had to raise 2 girls on his own lol). He was right, it did suck sometimes and I appreciated that I got a fried ice cream for my future pain.

 

i want to say something else but its not right

 

That's awesome though, it's great you can be so open with him, despite his embarrassment lol.

My household was pretty unconventional. My dad had full custody of me my whole life - I've never "met" my mom beyond a few unfortunate months in infancy. Sex was never a big thing because he had classy Alberto Vargas (playboy pinups) artwork all over the house, I was well aware of ... anatomy, and sex, and things. We just never talked about it. He faced a lot of criticism and flat out nasty comments being an older father with a daughter, so he was hyper aware to not cross any lines, to a fault, obviously lol. He was the absolute best, though.

 

My dad got me drunk a few times at home to let me learn a very solid lesson about limits. In his words, "I don't want you to be THAT GIRL who ends up passed out on the floor of her first frat party and comes home knocked up."

Message received, pops.

 

If it aint right it aint tight
JRock taught my that
and I live by it

 

Never pick the little old lady cashier. They always want to chat about what you're buying. "Aww honey it's so good you're being safe"

 

Honestly I took one sip and decided that I never wanted to drink alcohol. Or at least not cheap booze.

 

When I found out kiddo was a boy (while I was still pregnant) I thought, "Well, shit, Tricker, now you're in for some awkward conversations" because I knew I was doing this alone. However, I believe in the unvarnished truth, I answer the question asked and try not to give more info than is asked for and don't lie.

I think one of the most awkward convos was the one we got into when he tried to tell me I couldn't tell him about how a penis works because I don't have one (he was a little younger than he is now). I argued that I had been acquainted with more than one penis, which is more than he's been acquainted with, so I actually, probably, knew more than he did.

 

Matt says he buys pads with pride because, "I'm not dying alone. I have an egg bearing woman at home and I am doing just fine for myself and the cashier knows that when I show up with pads and ginger ale, it's because I'm AWESOME."

Yes, this is what he says to me. He has saved the details of what I like and dislike during my period and what the signs are leading up to it (in his stalker notebook of course).

 

it's one thing to take it straight rather than mixed

 

Then to be fair you should take a bite of a taco before never wanting one

 

I honestly and truly thought the word penis would have been Good Place Replaced. I can't believe it got through.

 

I wouldn't say I didn't liked tacos if I had never had one.